True confession: I’m sticking with”borrowed” my wedding vows instead of plagiarized because I never actually tried to hide it. Oh, the things that haunt you when you are a blogger.
JetSet Hubs and I were married ten years ago today at the Four Seasons Hotel Las Vegas. We planned our wedding reception for the Saturday of Labor Day weekend so that all of our friends and family could enjoy the long weekend with us. We were living alone in California and we both knew it would be the first, and (probably) the last time everyone we cared about would be under the same roof. We were pretty much right.
File this under: How [not] to write wedding vows
What many don’t know, is only days away from our trip and I had nothing. Those vows haunted me. We acted like Monica and Chandler regarding writing our wedding vows. He was silently freaking out, and little did he know, I was too. I had zero idea where to start. I wanted to be creative, and I was not sure I even wanted traditional wedding vows. The doodles in my notebook margins resembled more Banksy and less Shakespeare. I knew there would be no chance of tears and handkerchiefs. Two days before take-off and I still didn’t have vows. Did he? I really didn’t want to even find out.
What do you mean you haven’t written your vows?
So the night before Vegas, I quickly recalled celebrity couples that have been married a long time. There are like five. Combine that with the ones I admire, and there are two! But then I remembered, Joanne Woodward and Paul Newman. And like a that huge neon Welcome to Vegas sign, I noticed they were married in that exact city almost 50 years earlier.
JetSet Hubs loved the idea. Of course he did! He was ready to “borrow” someone else’s wedding vows quicker than you can say, “I do.” Part of me was miffed he was being let off the hook so easily, but SO WAS I suckahs! So. Was. I.
His halo and my wings
So as my grandfather walked me down the aisle at sunset, a flamenco guitarist played The Beatles Here, There and Everywhere, and I cracked a little wink and smile to my long time friend and photographer. Not for the reasons you’d think though. It was more of a “I hope you’re capturing all this because I am about to be so BUSTED,” kinda smile. Busted for wedding vow theft! I was officially a fraud.
I remember breathing a sigh of relief as the guitarist played U2’s Everlasting Love because in my mind that was the getaway car and I could walk down the aisle with my new husband before REO Speedwagon began soundcheck, but that’s a whole other story for another post.
Can I go to The Knot jail for this?
Even if I could, I know Earline would have bailed me out. Since our moms couldn’t be with us on this special day, we’re pretty sure they joined heavenly forces and sent us the amazing Earline Torres in their place. What an incredible woman. xo
Years later, and I am just rereading these beautiful words now. Partly cracking up and partly tearing up. It’s amazing how after all this time, without even thinking much about them until now, they have become the commandments of our marriage. Ob
“Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. In the Art of Marriage: The little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say ‘I love you’ at least once a day […]
It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through all the years. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have wings of an angel. It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding room for the things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner” – Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward, 1958